Heavenmakers

Loneliness is defined as a strong sense of emptiness and solitude. It’s often used to describe being unwanted, and unimportant. As a writer its easy to fall into the trap of feeling unwanted because much of your writing is rejected and occasionally ridiculed. It’s equally easy to feel unimportant because, to be quite honest, most people have never heard of your stuff and although your mum might be a big fan of your last story she’s one of a dedicated few. Most of all it is easy and familiar to encounter emptiness and solitude. While I would reject the rest as fairly negative conditions, emptiness and solitude are the stuff I live on as a writer.

It’s now two in the morning. I’m up to 31000 words on the sequel to ‘School: The Seventh Silence’, my smash hit: The novel that fulfilled all of the above criteria: unwanted, unimportant, largely unread and ignored. But the critical thing is that some few people really liked it and to be honest I don’t care if a lot of people don’t. The sequel is playing out in my mind like the unraveling of a peculiar psychiatric condition. It’s empty and lonely as write. There is no one about, it’s too late, it’s too eerie and it’s too scary for everyone else so I’m alone and I’m writing. I’m writing about scary things that needed to be written in solitude and if you ever get round tor reading it I hope you read it in an eerie, scary place because that’s where it was born.

I used to be a long distance runner and now I’m a long distance writer. I’m not writing for the short term or the instant hit. I’m writing for the long grueling miles and for that perverse enjoyment in pushing something to the limit. Loneliness is defined as a strong sense of emptiness and solitude and you might well define writing as the loneliest of jobs.

‘The Thinking Man’s Crumpet’ is edited by Coral King. It was originally, set up as a small press magazine for emerging female talent but it seems that a similar metamorphosis has occurred that sociologists witness in school playgrounds. The boys fill up the available space while the girls sit in the corner.

Fortunately, Anna Stephens has not hid in the cloakroom. The issue begins with her hardcore SF short Interrogation. It is hardcore, it is short and it is squeamishly horrible but all in a good cause. Q is back and he’s nastier than ever. The protagonist is a HILDA which used to be a Hazardous Lifeforms Disposal Expert but for some obscure reason has now become a Hostile Indigenous Life Disposal Agent. Maybe like, the bewildering software on my computer, I have got too old to keep up with new technology and this is a new model. It is a story that gravitates around torture and  reads like it might be written by a man until you get to the testicles.  Enjoyable but scary.

Till When? is a long clever poem by David Thorpe.

Inner Demons is a visceral medical tale which starts with a sore abdomen and ends up up somewhere near Hell. It’s a very good story with perhaps too ambitious  a finishing line for such a short but ’sweet’ tale. Enjoyed it though

The End of a Strange Tale by Peter Tennant edges out strong contestants as the prizewinner for me. it’s a tale of two unlikely lovers and like Shakespeare’s best it has a very bloody ending.

Finally we have Hot Gates by Reg Jones, a long story that some will enjoy but I can’t review it. It’s a mix of Greek quasi history and vampires, well researched with a twist in the tale. Unfortunately I regard Thermopylae  with an almost religious fervcur and Leonidas as an untouchable icon so my peculiarities forbid comment.

Artwork by Alex Poole and Roger Pile and a neat wee drawing by Rachel in the rear of the mag round off a very good issue that would benefit I think, from more artwork. Rog Pile’s illustration for Hot Gates is absolutely spot on.

The Thinking Man’s Crumpet is available ridiculously cheaply at http://www.freewebs.com/thettmcmagazine/

As its editor, Coral King says ‘TTMC has balls’.  Originally, set up as a small press magazine for emerging female talent the girls were unfortunately a bit shy in their contributions, which is perhaps just as well for us blokes as those that did contribute were worryingly good at horrifying.

Issue 3 begins with Control a fairly hardcore SF short by Anna Stephens and a follow on from a previous Q tale that I rather liked. The protagonist is a HILDA -Hazardous Lifeforms Disposal Expert and believe me she disposes. ‘…the stairwell was momentarily tinted rose as minuscule scraps of flesh and blood hung in the still air.’ The ideas are interesting, it’s fast paced and energetic and the language is at times exciting and full of colour.

Solstice by Franklin Marsh is about young Carl who’s off to a festival at Stonehenge but you get the feeling he won’t be coming back. One of Marsh’s great strengths  is his dark humour and perhaps I was expecting more of it here.

Beyond the Door by Bennedict Jones is the highlight of the magazine for me.  It’s a story with minor faults – at times one feels the characters and situations are too much drawn from real life rather than utilised to further the plot – but this is only a pedantic  quibble. The door, is real enough, terribly frightening and the story leaves a very bad aftertaste in the mind. In other words its a goodie.

David Karataš (his name has a wee symbol over the ’s’ which I can’t find on the computer)  gives us the Strange Crucifixion where four pilgrims are off to solve the problems of good and evil. I’m afraid that good is going to be the loser. It’s not a story I especially enjoyed, and its not the best of his stories, but there is some eerie quality about Karataš’ work that defies analysis. I have seen many of his incipient tales  on Filthy Creations writers workshop and every time I read one I get the sense that this writer is unique. I also find it incredible that a man can write in a language that is not his own and still achieve this credibility. Read it and see if it doesn’t somehow affect you.

Rubbish by Suzanne Jackson is an apparently mundane tale about the neighbour. It’s very short but extremely good and in the end it’s not mundane at all – its damned scary.

This edition features authoress,  Sue Rule. Ghost is a story of a steady woman and her arty friend. It’s an extremely believable and poignant tale with an acerbic end.  She Walked into the Night is another ghost story of equal merit. ‘Can you fall in love with a ghost?‘ Rule makes us believe you can in a plot that twists and turns.

Maidenhead by yours truly, Craig Herbertson is a sequel to Soap 7 published many years ago in ‘Works 7′.  There’s a ship, a girl and a media virus to contend with.

Perhaps its the simple bloke mentality but I would rather the fonts changed less -aesthetically it looks great but it was at times a bit tough to read. At the risk of being lambasted for stereotyping, I’d like to bet that women wouldn’t have any problem with this.

Artwork by Karn Mcloud and Roger Pile and a bit of poetry make this absolutely sterling value for money.

The Thinking Man’s Crumpet is available at http://www.freewebs.com/thettmcmagazine/